Mirage _ A Miniature Story

"...

 …. Yes, yes just come to my chamber. I'll see.

Don't worry Mrs. Basu . All will be well."

….

"Okay, see you at the evening"

The phone call gets disconnected.

………. ……….. …………

6'o clock it is. A well-furnished study room with lot of books, looks like a rich library. A young boy is there writing something and looking at the door frequently. Then,

"Good evening, Mrs. Basu. Welcome."

"Take a deep breath, and tell me what happened."

"Okay okay, Calm down. I get it. First , you tell me, you don't take those medications properly, do you? "

" Why? You thought you were okay. Are you a psychiatrist? Anyway listen, just relax. Nothing serious is going to happen."

"Listen , you are a good writer. And the story is just an imagination which may have a realistic base. But that doesn't mean that each line of your story is getting enacted in reality coincidentally or whatever. 

No… no. It's you who is unconsciously making it happen. And this is your problem, isn't it?"

"Okay okay, I understand that you know it and it haunts you when you remember what you have done unconsciously, by hallucinating or by having delusions. But you yourself have to be cured. I can just give you some advice, medicines and all, just to make you see the way. But you have to walk alone to heal yourself."

"Listen, ...there is no child getting harassed in your house. Your daughter is absolutely safe. Everything is fine. Please don't mix your past with your daughter's life." 

"Now I would strictly recommend you not to continue your novel. Take some rest for a few months. Please ..

No….no.. don't get hyper …. please understand...take a deep breath and listen.

This is a minor problem now, but if you underestimate or overestimate it, it will affect you and your daughter's life. Paranoid schizophrenia is nothing serious, can be cured. Just don't freak out."

"...hmm... Hmm….right."

"...Right. So, not as a psychiatrist, but as your friend I assure you that."

  "….yes... exactly...you can."

" Okay, then. Have a nice day. …"

………….. …………. …………… ……………

Beside the 'chamber', in the other room , a perplexed middle-aged lady is on a phone call,

"Hello...

Mr. Sen...

He has started again…."

"What? Yes yes, he has started continuing writing his novel since last night…

..yes, please come…"

Midnight Poetry _ Crusade

Crusade

________

 

So, why You shout?

 

The universe

Did you bloom?

Or, can you make

The pyre for Gloom?

 

So keep quiet...

 

Be just what you are,

Just a building of believes,

Just a Church, a Mosque,

A Temple mere...

  

Now

 

The time to rewrite

The ending sanctity

An Ending... Eternal

In the budding Humanity.

 

Depression - The Darkness

 

Isn’t it beautiful when you see a drowsy morning-smile on your child’s face? Like that, Morning also wants to see a glowing face when she wakes you up, her child. 

But in this century, most people wake up with a depressed version of themselves and conclude their day with a gloomy soul.

Depression is a familiar as well as a common word with a devastating effect on human beings. It is a mood disorder which affects mental and physical health, and relationships.

Though the symptoms of depression are different in men , women and children, the vital points are :-

• Irritability, mood swing, anger, intense sadness, feeling hopeless.

• Loss of interest in regular activities or hobbies, constant tiredness or fatigue

• Thoughts of suicide 

• Engaging in high-risk activity

• Withdrawing from social affairs

• Lack of sexual desire

• Excessive sexual need

• Thinking and talking more slowly

• Inability to concentrate

• Feelings of extreme guilt and shame

• Insomnia , restless sleep or excessive sleepiness

• Decreased energy and affected physical health

EXCESSIVE FRUSTRATION – THE SOURCE OF DEPRESSION:-

Almost everyone is frustrated, and the minimum level of frustration is required to progress in life. But when the frustration crosses its normal level and reaches the extreme, that uncontrollable frustration turns into depression.

Depression and frustration both are psychological stresses. But there is a certain difference.

What is frustration?

When we are unable to achieve our expected goals and get hindered several times by anyone or anything, frustration arises.

‘I cannot do it’, ‘I can never do that’, ‘Is it possible by me?’, ‘When will I do this perfectly?’ – these kind of sentences emit from frustration. These are negative, for sure. But it will be not so difficult to turn towards the positives from these ‘negatives’. This kind of normal self-doubt is healthy.

But when the sentences turn into ‘I am worthless’, ‘I am just a shabby garbage in this world’, ‘No need to live anymore’ , the self-doubts get established in the mind and that leads to the horrible depression.

Some negativity is required to make things positive, and some negativity should be destroyed in an early stage. Depression comes in the ultimate state of frustration. So we should control our frustrations and keep it only for positive outcomes.

How to recover from Depression?

Remember the YOLO philosophy? You Only Live Once. So live life to the fullest. Live like a butterfly…

Nothing is impossible. So depression generally can be recovered by consulting psychiatrists. The other way to cure is through Magnetic Stimulation (a new study by researchers from Stanford University and Palo Alto University).

But I can say, it’s all in your hands. If you choose to be happy, you can live a stress-free life. I’m not a professional medico, but can suggest some ways to overcome this darkness.

• Firstly, you have to make yourself understand that you are not worthless. There is something that cannot happened without the touch of your hands. There are many flowers that cannot bloom without your smile. So you are precious and important as well. Actually everybody has his duty for this world which has to be performed only by him. Always remember you too have something in you that will enrich the world.

I think self-love works the most.

• Divide time for work and relaxation. Most importantly try to enjoy what you are doing.

• Meditation is always a great healer. Must be enlisted in your daily routine. You can do exercise as well to boost your energy and good-feeling. You can walk few times a week. Last but not the least, eat healthy and sleep tight (especially sleeping naked reduces stress and depression)

• Creativity keeps negativity away. Create something new- whatever you can. The feeling of creating something will rejuvenate you.

Do anything new. Try to visit places where you have always desired to go. Read new books and listen to music (but please not the sad songs). Try to cherish your hobbies.

• Spend time with your family, especially with children – they are the gifts of God, surely will make you lively. Help your parents/ partners/others in household chores.

    Just make yourself busy in a positive way.

Depression is a darkness, but there is always light behind the gloomy cloud. Consider the night as the envelope of the dawn, dawn – the letter of light, the letter of life.

                           ________________

                    

Spectrophilia (The Ghost Sex)

Psychology is like an underground chamber, it has a hidden and huge world within it, and when the secret door gets opened, we wonder with awe and excitement. 

Spectrophilia - a new word to the common people. Though some are aware of this,there are many more to unfold. 

The Ghost Sex or Spectrophilia is an erotic attraction to ghosts, or sexual desire for black entity, unknown image. This is an imaginary sexual practice between human and ghost or dark entity.

Sometimes it takes place with the image of one's beloved, the partner either may be alive or deceased.

This phenomenon is not a psychological disorder, rather it is a kind of fetish of different individual. Most of the humans like these things the most:

• Negative or Dark

• Eccentric concepts 

• Being different

• Escaping the conventional 

Morbid curiosity (that desire to know about dark, death, negativity, anything which is mentally disturbing) is not in any way unnatural. The common curiosity of horror stuff is kind of morbid curiosity and that is normal. So Spectrophilia is in no way unhealthy, but exceptional.

Ghost sex is not equivalent to Incubus Attack. The first one is done willingly, for pleasure and the second one is a disorder which makes the person panicstricken and terrified. The person feels an unwanted sexual force by a dark entity or demon which is very scary. 

Spectrophilia is not an unearthly or ghostly activity. So it must not be attached with the word 'paranormal'.

'Ghost' does not mean a spirit. Ghost is a dark entity which is not physically present , it is just a shadowy image created by a human's strong visualisation and imagination. 

There's no particular cause for this erraticness. But this segregation can be done to clear the conception.

• Anyone who is deprived from sexual contact with his/her partner

• Anyone who is fascinated with this unconventional way of getting pleasure 

• The person who wishes to consummate with his/her deceased partner 

A Spectrophile must have these four qualities:

• A deep eccentric sexual perception

• Strong imagination power

• Fearless mind

• Offbeat thinking habit 

Some cases are there in which a person has seen a dark spirit. The spirit has appeared gradually over the human. He has felt a sexual pressure which is pleasurable to him. Then successfully he has reached the climax and has gotten satisfaction.

But the person has to feel the positive vibe there, otherwise it would take a wrong turn.

Lucy Liu told US Weekly that her consummation with a ghost was "sheer bliss". She said, "I felt everything. I climaxed and he floated away."

Actually, there's no proof of any 'ghost' in this practice. It is the mere idea or conception which a spectrophile loves to cherish, loves to think that he/she is going to unite with a 'ghost'.

Mark D. Griffiths states, "The main sexual outlet for spectrophilia would appear to be masturbation."

In our society, sex is a taboo and being unconventional is offensive to a lot of people. So, in this environment, any kind of bizarre desire can not be taken with a free mind. So most of the people cannot open up themselves. Their natural desire, may it be offbeat, gets suppressed. 

So everything, which is not harmful or unhealthy in any way, has to be revealed proudly.

The Living Incubus - A Miniature Story

'A 46 year old bank manager was missing since yesterday morning. His wife had fainted several times. She said that her husband went to….'

She is reading the article in today's newspaper.

Today is quite different from other days , she is feeling so refreshed. As usual, waking up early in the morning, instead of cleaning the bed, she is going to the terrace. 

What a serene morning! The first ray is touching her softly, the mild breeze is playing with her hairs. The hidden rainbow smile is now on her face. Like a new day!

Carelessly throwing the newspaper on the bed, she is thinking, 'Let's get fresh first. Then, umm, will make Poha , Mishu loves this…'

Suddenly the doorbell is ringing. 

"Oh Mashi, come in." 

The maid-servant is coming in and taking the dusting broom. 

"Don't be so upset, Boudi. Dada will be found soon. Police are investigating, na?" 

The maid is saying to her with deep eyes of consolation.

But,

"I know, he will never come." - her firm voice makes the maid feel a little weird, though she continues her consolation with more sympathy, while dusting.

" He will never come back…

… actually it's not possible

… The poison had already killed the Poison

… I made the dinner … not to make him come back..

 … He will not come

… He must not come actually …."

 A mind cried out with a great apathy.

 … ….

"O Mashi , no need to clean my bedroom, I'll, no need to go there..."

… …. ….

"Mishu , get up honey. Look, the 'sunny-sunny'  has again woken up before you, so early. Get up Sona."

Mishu is getting up gradually.

With a drowsy as well as excited voice, she starts,

"Momma,

Last night I had slept so peacefully, so well.

.

You know, the dark ghost who is just like Daddy, I told you… he didn't come over my body to hurt, to punish last night. 

Look, it is not painful today… it's not painful.."

The girl gets down from her bed so quickly to hug her mother and that makes the mirror beside her fall down and break into pieces. 

This is happening so suddenly, she is getting awkward and feeling sorry.

"It's ok. Its destiny is to become dust"

The words of the mother are smirking on the broken glasses.

Incubus Attack - The Erotic Nightmare

Mythology always fascinates me in a different way. But when the wave of mythology touches the shore of psychology, it makes a unique universe.

'Incubus attack' or Sleep Paralysis is a common term in Parasomnia. Let's begin with the mythological background of this sleeping disorder.

It is said that Incubus is the son of Lilith (according to the most common myth). Incubus, the demon with horrible sexual desire, attacks women while they sleep. He impregnates them with the demon's child. On the contrary, Succubus, the female form of Incubus, comes for men. She collects semen from that male victim to inseminate women after deforming into Incubus. It is an ill-process of producing satanic offspring with devilish seed.

This terrifying paranormal erotic experience is nothing but a sleeping disorder. The victim hallucinates a dark entity trying to rape him/her. But the person can't move himself, just gradually getting panicked terribly. 

Sleep Paralysis happens during REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement) when the brain is active, but the whole body is in the state of cataplexy (temporarily losing the muscle control which makes one weaker and collapsed physically). In this deepest phase of sleep, dreams are intense.

During Sleep Paralysis these problems arise:

• Blood pressure gets high

• Heart rate rises

• Breathing trouble

• All time tired 

• Getting panicked while going to sleep

Sleep Paralysis has some reasons to happen : 

• Adverse situation or circumstance

• Interrupted sleep (jet lag, shifting job etc.)

• Insomnia

• Too much stress (Regular nightmares, feeling of deep isolation , irritation and guilt)

• Anxiety

• Sexual depression

• Sudden panic-attack or fear

• Genetic issues

Can anyone get rid from this erotic horrifying hallucination? Actually there's no specific solution for this psychological disorder. But these can help :

• Regular sleep for at least 8 hours

• Particular sleeping habit ( same time for sleeping at night and waking up in the morning everyday)

• Do not go for any exciting things (like rich dinner, alcohol, watching nerve-racking movies or videos, continuous smoking etc.) before sleeping

• Not to sleep on the back

• Do exercise and meditation daily (morning or evening is the good time for it)

• Last but not the least, do not get panicked thinking about this problem the whole day, be relaxed.

Sleep Paralysis can't be related with 'imagination or fantasy' , this is a scary hallucination where the person suddenly feels some horrible sexual force trying to attack , a lustful dark spirit is there to rape. This is very frightening. 

Incubus (which lies upon) or Succubus (which lies beneath) is actually the darkest cloud within you which tries to wrap you up with all the negative dreadful dismay. 

If you try to calm yourself in a peaceful way, hopefully, the chaos will be dispersed; and your everyday will take Zephyr for you.

                                 ________

You Are Great! Well Done Humans!

Being too imaginative and insane, I visualise that I'm pregnant and have no food, going to a locality I'm praying for some food and the 'kind-hearted, generous, sane people' have offered me a pineapple and while I'm eating, they have started raping me (No no, I'm not discriminating among male or female. 'They' means 'the people', 'the human', there's no gender, no caste, no religion) .

I'm getting terrified. They are laughing brutally. My picture of humanity is changing into Hell. 

I, a bleeding, devastating, betrayed, helpless Mother, is trying to run, running aimlessly.

I start mourning, yelling in pain. But I don't try to attack anyone. Because I see another pregnant woman is there laughing among them, and others are maybe someone's father or mother. 

Anyway then my first priority is to save my baby's life. I can hear a cry within myself, "Momma, it is hurting, it feels like I'm burning. It's so painful, Momma."

Oh, I can't move anymore. I can't even see properly. All are getting blurred. Lava is flowing within my body, it is burning, I'm almost covered with blood. It's horrible. 

God , where are you? Please at least save my little one.

I'm feeling like my whole body is getting shattered into pieces.

"Oh, look honey, there's a river." "It may heal us. It may heal us for sometime before my eyes get closed eternally." 

I feel my time has come. I'm going slowly down to the river. 

Oh, it is so peaceful!

So cold, so soothing!

"Baby? Why are you silent? Is it healing to you too? Baby?"

.

.

.

"Well, honey, stay there, I'm coming, I'm c-o-m-i- ..."

Death - not a Demon

Can you ever feel the life in Death? 

This is neither from depression nor any absurd thought. This is just a realisation of an individual.

Death - the word itself is  drenched with tears, uttered with fear, it's nothing but a pure 'negative'. This is the accustomed fact.

But, I always see 'Death' through a different mirror.

Lifelessness is death. I feel that there's something beyond this fact. Many people there are who aren't full of life, hell has sucked the last green from them. But they still breathe.

Being burnt in the acidic eyes of society, she regularly has to lie on the forbidden bed of cactus to buy a rose for the smile of her dying husband, to submit the pending fees of her son's school, to feed the family anyway. Then where is Death here, in that lifeless woman, or in the dying husband, or in the acidic eyes of society? 

Death is nowhere. Here are some pictures of 'to Die', the dying of self and the dying of society. 

Actually we are afraid to lose. That's why Death is so ugly to us.

If you can hear the sound of the silent depth of Blue, you can discover the true self of Death. The brightest light beyond the dark tunnel is Death. The Zenith across the universe is Death. Death is nothing but a little bud of life covered with rainbow feathers.

You'll find the first cry of creation in Death. Just look at him with motherly eyes, you'll see the newborn hands painting dream.

Iswari - The Divine Light

There was a lady I met on my daily bus-journey to my university. She sat beside me almost every day. Her stoppage was twenty minutes before mine. 

One day, we started talking.

Gradually we became very frank and friendly with each other. 

I shared my stories, she hers.

She belongs to a non-wealthy family, but to a rich one. Her father is a school teacher of geography, this universe is almost in his grip. Her mother is a professional singer. A loving brother she has who is actually her cousin. In his childhood, he had lost his parents and since then he had been reared in his aunt's house. They are very genial. This is all about her happy nest. 

The road-friendship became stronger day by day and the story was continuing. I was curious to explore this woman. Because, I don't know why, somehow I found her very different, very enigmatic. 

She is two years older than me. To be a great journalist was her passion, but pocket didn't support her to reach her dream. Anyway she is an honours graduate of philosophy and a meritorious fellow. Now she is preparing for competitive examinations. She also sings well, as I listened to a phone - recording of her singing.

Here she comes every day for a batch , she teaches.

She shared all her storms, her breeze, her struggles. I believed her, I believed her eyes, such as those full of deep monsoon-clouds, but anyhow bright in every way. She smiled like a pitiful moonlight , but confidence was always on her lips.

In her gloom,  once, she touched a fairytale. She shared. A humble Prince came into her life with all colours. Though that was a tough time for her, no time even for breathing, he was just a new ray of hope in her story. Time was flowing in its own way with sorrow, with smiles. 

But fate smirked secretly and came with its demonic eyes. That was their last wedding-marketing. Around 7'O clock, they were about to return home and a devastating storm started. It was raining ruthlessly and thundering. They anyhow ran and took shelter under a shade. When situation was getting normal, her fiance came out to call a taxi. But , after some steps, as soon as his feet touched the electrified water , he … .

Again a grey journey with solitude, she started to continue. 

Like these we shared our stories with each other and the bus journey got vitality. 

One day, I suddenly asked,

" Where do you go for tuition? Which subject do you teach? Philosophy?"

She remained silent for some moments. Then opened up, 

" You may understand. You have that mind." ….

" Some children are there, I teach them. I teach them the abcd, the basics, the morality, everything. There's almost none to educate them."...

" You know, for the poor, the orphans there are many generous hearts to provide their necessities without any hesitation. But for these children, generous hearts are very very rare, because of their mothers' 'profession'. Those poor night queens! "...

" I educate them, sometimes their mothers too, and I will."...

"This is a promise to myself. "

I was amazed. Respect for her reached the extreme. 

We remained silent for some time. Her stoppage was coming. Suddenly I asked,

" Well, why do you take this initiative? I mean, is there any inspiration or any realisation?"

She just kept looking outside without uttering a single word. I felt embarrassed and awkward. 

Suddenly she said, just before leaving the seat,

"I am just trying to enlighten my birthplace, my first soil…

that's all…"